fourthgate.org

Meet me in the Church of Lost Souls at midnight and we’ll dance.
Pounding out a rhythm with the thrust of our hips;
we’ll find the pulse that drives creation.
Taken in the arms of the Universe
we’ll lose ourselves in holy reverie—
this feast of bread and wine.

On this, the 36th anniversary of my birth, I am compelled to share some of the truths, lies, lessons and general mysteries of the Universe that have been subtly(or not so) revealed to me in these trips around the sun.

1. Keep your tongue in your mouth and your thumb on the outside of your fist.
2. It is not OK to make a chocolate milkshake with either chocolate ice cream or chocolate milk.
3. Tell the people you love that you do, often.
4. People don’t expect you to put your thumb in their eye.
5. It is seldom a good idea to buy 450 doses of LSD.
6. Internet Explorer sucks.
7. Don’t keep hamsters in the same cage, regardless of what gender the pet store tells you they are.
8. There are more important things in life than television.
9. Always respect the tenuous relationship that a motorcycle has with the road, whether you are riding one or not.
10. No one gets out alive.

Items are in no particular order of importance and may indeed seem self-evident to some. Your mileage may vary.