fourthgate.org

On this, the 36th anniversary of my birth, I am compelled to share some of the truths, lies, lessons and general mysteries of the Universe that have been subtly(or not so) revealed to me in these trips around the sun.

1. Keep your tongue in your mouth and your thumb on the outside of your fist.
2. It is not OK to make a chocolate milkshake with either chocolate ice cream or chocolate milk.
3. Tell the people you love that you do, often.
4. People don’t expect you to put your thumb in their eye.
5. It is seldom a good idea to buy 450 doses of LSD.
6. Internet Explorer sucks.
7. Don’t keep hamsters in the same cage, regardless of what gender the pet store tells you they are.
8. There are more important things in life than television.
9. Always respect the tenuous relationship that a motorcycle has with the road, whether you are riding one or not.
10. No one gets out alive.

Items are in no particular order of importance and may indeed seem self-evident to some. Your mileage may vary.

I have recently decided to start a writing project based on the seasons. An exploration of how they effect me, my thoughts and my mood and mindset. Also their relation to the life cycle of individuals, thoughts and feelings—myself included and in a general sense.

I like the idea for a number of reasons. It gives me content for this site to begin to structure categories and other nerdy organizational stuff. It also gives me something I haven’t had for so long that I didn’t even realize I missed it, an avenue for creative expression. And in doing so a pressure valve for my rabid self-scrutiny and introspection. A hint that something productive, creative, dare I say real might emerge is intoxicating.

The  nature of the project, lends it self to ongoing development and revision. Every year is more research. Starting small, with whatever I have and getting it out, on to the page and letting it stew is just fine. I have no clear expectations of what will come. The process is exciting to me and while I could see a need for a deadline at some point, right now it is the furthest thing from my mind.

I want to thank those who have actually pulled this project from my sideways remarks that I’d like to do something blah blah blah,  to actually doing it. You may not have any idea how your even casual support has done wonders.

The sun is shining again and Summer is still months away as we happily retire our favorite sweaters to the lower drawers and our winter coats to the hall closet. Spring is here and pretty much in full swing. Amidst the bunnies, birdies, pastels, pansies, mid-drifts and motorcycles lies an important yet oft overlooked aspect of this, the second season. In all its glory of birth and rebirth the inherent frailty of is life easily forgotten or just willfully ignored.

Conceived in the cold darkness of Winter and gestated there, the thoughts and feelings of our souls may seem hardened, but let us not forget that thunderstorms and tornados lie in wait, and the baking heat of the sun is just around the corner. Spring is a test, a battleground, a trial for new and old alike. Not all candidates survive, many must adapt to do so. But when Summer comes, these trials will be looked back upon with nostalgic favor as the close heat of Summer ushers us into Fall.

I find myself at a crossroads. Familiar territory, with an all too familiar dilemma. What to post? Not necessarily writers block. Possibly it's more akin to stage fright. There's an apprehension originating from a long running internal debate on what type of content to put 'here'. My personal life, my professional life, my friends, family and foibles — what's fair game? Where's the line? Should there be a line? Why do I feel compelled to decide now, before writing? That last one's probably the most poignant of them all, so I'll ignore it.

Returning to this quandary for what is at least the fourth time, I don't think I care anymore. I don't need to know now, now do I? Blather on, edit, delete, re-post…who cares? I'll figure it out as I go. Something I could stand to a bit more of in my life anyway.

Hey, I think I got away without answering that tricky one.